sad flavor of today.

From now on I'm not going to tell you whether or not I'm lying. My writing is going to get exponentially more brutal as I start losing interest in formality. Suck it up. I'm not here to write you an MLA style essay, I'm telling you a story with interruptions, pratfalls, bad grammar and even worse vulgarity. My vocabulary is pretty stellar but I'm going to sound like a three year old when I feel like it. It's my GREENsoftdrink and I'll spill it if I want to.

Quick disclaimer. NSFW unless you are blessed with one of those radly alternative ones; most of what I post will probably include if not entirely be written about a sexcapade of mine. I've enjoyed polygamy as much as I've enjoyed multiple orgasms. I am currently in a relationship, and as far as those go, I've never been a big fan. However, I find this one to be more than satisfactory. ( I am in love and I like writing about it. Another suck it up or stop reading disclaimer. )

When I said that I have a softporn life, I was only kidding inasmuch as it's only softporn when I'm wearing clothes. The rest of it is pretty XXX, Gossip Girl meets Friends, Girl Interrupted and Alfie for an orgy. And they invite their friends too.

But I'm not going to tell you a debauchery story right off the bat. I'm going to have a good complain first. Why? Because my boyfriend is taking a six month photo-journalistic trip with two old men to Argentina. He left Oct. 12th. Almost exactly a month ago. And is currently in Sacramento rebuilding his GS 500. I'm so fucking lonely/horny/sad/alcoholic. I haven't gone a single weekend without having an alcohol induced happy time. I've had mad fun at all the parties I've gone to. And then I get to come home and sleep by myself in a queen sized bed with two pillows. I hate it. Its the shittiest thing, I've discovered, waking up with the warm body of your significant other beside you for (almost) a year now, and then suddenly not for 6 months. I'm going to call my significant other Jared Green.
Since he's been gone I've had one websex chat with him, masturbated 3 times and wanted to rape several random but attractive men/boys at the various parties I've attended. I'm in nympho hell. A monogamous long distance relationship.
Shoot me now.
And now, for something completely different.